A Piece of Me Missing
by FrogeyedBass
Summary: After a horrible accident, Natasha reflects on her feelings for a certain archer and about what her life would be like without him. Clintasha. Widowhawk.


**I haven't written fanfiction in a whiiile. Not serious fanfiction anyway, but recently I've fallen in love with the Clintasha, so here you go, a Clintasha fic this way comes!**

Of course, Black Widow had been scared before.

She kept up the appearance of a fearless, calm, emotionless women, but everyone gets scared. She felt fear when she was trapped in an interrogation lab, the interrogators having left and locked the door, the room slowly filling with water, and leaving her alone and soon unable to breathe. She'd managed her way out of that by keeping her head and swimming her way to the door and working a way out.  
She _had _felt fear when Loki had taken over Agent Barton's mind, but what she had felt then was more anger than fear. _How dare he?_ _How DARE he take everything that Clint held dear and replace it with pure hatred? _

But the first time she had felt cold, unmatchable, pure fear was when she saw a whole building fall on her partner and friend, Clint Barton.

It wasn't even a mission. It had been a huge ball, full of spies, assassins, S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Exactly _why _there was a ball full of people who should potentially be enemies, Natasha and Clint had no idea, but it had been demanded that they were there. Posing as a couple, they had entered the ball, Natasha with a graceful smile on her face, but grumbling beneath the gentle look.

'Why are we here, Clint?' she said, through clenched teeth. 'This is ridiculous.'

'I know, Tash,' he whispered back. 'Just smile and it'll all be over soon.'

Smile she did, but it didn't stop her imagining all the different ways she could kill the person who had sent her here. She wished she could swap the tight black dress and killer red heels for a comfortable shirt and sweatpants. As much as she was able to use a revealing dress to her advantage, it didn't stop her hating them and despising it when men tried to look down at her breasts.

As part of their cover, they made their way to the dance floor and slow-danced to a song. Natasha placed her head on Clint's shoulder and they swayed in time with the music. Barton's heartbeat elevated slightly at her touch, and all at once images sped through his mind of what it might be like if they were really a couple.

_Yeah, keep dreaming, Barton. _

'I hate this song,' she muttered in his ear. 'And all the men keep staring at my boobs.'

Clint smirked slightly. 'You can have them all killed later.'

'Why not now?'

'Nat, you do realise that Fury would blow his shit, right?'

'You're no fun.'

Hawkeye smiled. He loved her dry humour.

They stayed like that for a long while, Natasha muttering obscenities in Clint's ear. It was almost comfortable for the two of them for a while, until they heard the noise.

_Creeeeeeeak.  
_

They pulled away suddenly and looked up in the direction of the sound. The rest of the room continued dancing, blissfully unaware of the sinister noise that only their practised ears had heard.

_Creeeeeeeak. _

'Nat...' Clint said, apprehensively. 'Something's not quite right here.'

'I know. Split up?' Tash said.

Clint wanted to say no, he wanted to say that he wanted her to stay with him where he could make sure she was okay, but he knew Natasha could look after herself. He nodded instead, moving back away from her and through the crowds to a door that led through to the back of the building.

The back of the building was odd. He had expected it to be as sleek and as polished as the front, but instead it was dusty and old-looking, as if it had been built years ago, instead of a couple of months ago, as he was told that it had been.

He moved silently through the different rooms, only finding old boxes and crates. As he crept into what he assumed was the last room on the floor, he stopped.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._

He could hear the sound ever so softly. Then, an thought hit him.

Why exactly would you invite spies and assassins and politicians and leaders all to one ball?

_Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. _

_To blow them all up. _

In a flash, Clint flew back to the main hall area, raising alarms as he went. He stood on the balcony above them, hidden behind a pillar.

'EVERYBODY OUT!' he yelled, 'NOW. THE BUILDING IS GOING TO FALL ON ALL OF US.'

'Clint?' Natasha said, as crowds of people pushed by her to get to the door. 'CLINT!'

'TASH, GO!' he screamed over all of them.

'BUT-'

'GO!'

She was pushed out of the door by the sheer amount of people, but she twisted and struggled against them, desperate to get back to Clint, even if it meant a building fall on her.

'I've got to- I've got to get back to -' she mumbled, trying to get back in, just so she could be sure that he was all right.  
A fellow S.H.I.E.L.D agent pulled her back. 'You're insane, Agent Romanoff. We have to leave now. Barton can get himself out.'

'NO!' she shrieked, but the agent pulled her back.

In that moment, the building fell.

Panic surged through her. 'CLINT!' she screamed. 'CLINT!'

That was the last thing she remembered before everything went black.

She woke up later in the Avengers Tower, sitting up in her own bed. Two of the other Avengers, Steve and Bruce, sat by her bed.

'You're awake!' Steve said, his eyes lighting up with relief. 'How are you feeling?'

'I'm fine. And you can tell S.H.I.E.L.D that I do not appreciate being drugged,' she snapped.

'They had to. You would have done something stupid.'

Natasha felt anger surging though her veins. 'Yes, I would have! And I should have! Where's Clint?'

Bruce and Steve gulped, and looked at each other shiftily, keeping their gaze away from Natasha.

'Well, where is he?'

'Natasha -'

'JUST TELL ME,' she yelled, glaring at the pair of them.

'Barton hasn't been found yet,' Bruce said, adjusting his glasses.

Her voice went dangerously quiet. 'What do you mean he hasn't been found?'

'Natasha, it's only been a couple of hours, I'm sure they'll find him soon,' Steve offered as a comfort, but this only made Natasha angrier.

'Please, just leave,' she said, closing her eyes and leaning back on the bed.

'I'm sorry,' Steve said as he stood up. 'I know how much you care about him.'

'Just go,' she said.

She opened her eyes to watch them leave, and then curled up into a ball, making herself as small as possible.

'Clint,' she whispered. 'I'm sorry.'

*

It had been two days since the ball. Natasha had not left her room, instead stayed curled up on her bed in a shirt and sweatpants, refusing to talk to anyone.

'Natasha, come out and have some Shawarma with us,'

'Don't want to.'

'Natasha, come out, I need your opinion on my new dress,' was Pepper's attempt.

'Don't want to.'

'Natasha, it's been two days, you'll make yourself ill. At least leave your room once in a while.'

'I SAID, I DON'T WANT TO.'

After that, no one else tried. No one wanted to get on the bad side of Natasha Romanoff. It wasn't until the third day that she had any more visitors.

Steve tapped on the door.

'WHAT?'

'There's someone here to see you, Natasha.'

She sat up slowly, ready to flop down on the bed if it was someone she didn't want to see. Her eyes widened when she saw who it was, and in a wave of uncharacteristic emotion from her, she ran towards him and threw her arms around him.

'Clint!'

'Hey, Tasha.'

Steve smiled. 'I'll leave you two alone then.'

She sank into him, enjoying the feeling of his strong muscles around her. Then, in that instant, she pulled away from him, and smacked him around the face.

'Jeez, Nat, what was that for?'

'HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME?' she screamed. 'I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, AND THEN YOU JUST SWAN IN HERE AND SAY 'HEY' AS IF NOTHING'S WRONG.'

Clint chucked, and pulled her close to him. 'I'm sorry I made you worry, Nat.'

She calmed down and lay her head on his chest. He looked at her properly. 'Tasha...you haven't been looking after yourself properly, have you?'

'Don't you start.'

'You look like you haven't slept.'

'I haven't.'

'I really made you worry that much?'

'Yeah.'

Clint held her face in his hands and looked at her in the eyes. 'Tash, you don't need to worry about me. It's you who you should be worrying about.'

'You just don't get it, do you!' Natasha said angrily. 'I thought you had DIED. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with a piece of me missing. I thought I was never going to see you again.'

And then Black Widow did something that she had always said she was never going to do. Something she knew got in the way of missions, something that was taboo amongst secret agents. She lay forward against him, holding him tight. '_I love you._'

Clint stood there, completely stunned for a moment. He knew they were close, really close, more close than anyone else they knew.

But for Black Widow, _the _Black Widow to show any kind of emotion, especially that of love, now that was a big thing.

He pulled her closer into his arms, breathing in her scent. 'I love you too. I've never been good with feelings, but I always have.'

Carefully and slowly, Natasha leaned up towards Clint and pressed her lips gently against his.

Back in the main room of the Avengers tower, the other avengers sat, watching the events on the security screen.

'Twenty bucks,' Tony said. 'Pay up.'

**I'm sorry, I'm really out of practise with this. I'm pretty sure this is completely out of character. Oh well, I hope you enjoyed anyway! :) **


End file.
